Literary Treasure

Keeping Things Whole

In a field
I am the absence
of field.
This is
always the case.
Wherever I am
I am what is missing.

When I walk
I part the air
and always
the air moves in
to fill the spaces
where my body's been.

We all have reasons
for moving.
I move
to keep things whole.

- Mark Strand

I first read this poem in a high school textbook while I was teaching when I first moved to Los Angeles. The simplicity of it was beautiful to me. I wrote it down by hand so I could read it to my friend, Lori, who ran the Continuum office. Continuum is a form of organic movement that accesses the fluid system through sound, breath, and wave motion.

It is impossible to describe in words…one just has to experience it like the bus stop incident Aram was speaking of last week. Emilie, the founder of Continuum, talks about negative space. “In a field/ I am the absence/ of field.” It is such a simple line, and yet pondering it is the space between the words that makes it so potent. “Wherever I am/ I am what is missing.” This is very Zen, as we rush around trying to find something which is already present. It reminds me of a Poetry In Motion poem that should be on the subways in New York City. Deb Margolin used to memorize the poems.

“When I walk/ I part the air/ and always/ the air moves in/ to fill the spaces/ where my body’s been.” Again, the image of the air moving in to fill in the space where our body has been is a juxtaposition of our narcissistic culture of the human moves, not the air. “We all have reasons/ for moving./ I move/ to keep things whole.” It brings me back to myself, to keep moving, to keep being whole. It’s silly really—it is such a simple poem. Like the stupid Jerry Maguire line, “You complete me.” But that line resonated with the masses.

Dissecting a poem in textual analysis is like beating a horse of its beauty. I would rather read this poem aloud, the words falling between spaces, allowing it to do its own magic, others discovering its treasures. Even if they hate it, it has moved through the spaces and found a reason for moving.

Personal Narrative with Song Lyrics

When I was thirteen, I was breaking the law on a regular basis. It didn't really register that I was breaking the law because I thought that having to be sixteen to drive a car was a stupid, societal law and I was a very mature thirteen-year-old hanging out with a sixteen-year-old. I was a good girl. I wasn't having sex, I wasn't getting drunk, I wasn't doing drugs, I got straight As, respected my parents and teachers loved me. But I was breaking the law every time Andy and I got together and he would offer to let me drive his mother's Sprint. Andy was a great driving teacher. We laughed when I broke too hard. I was very careful with the gas pedal and he was very patient as I practiced. We started out in parking lots. But we got bolder as I got better. We took to the streets.

Andy let me drive to Bay City, a high way jaunt, twenty minutes from our town of Saginaw. We would just drive around, listening to the radio, our favorite songs. Gas was cheap in the late eighties and Saginaw was home of the hashers with bands like Bad English singing “When I see you smile, I can face the world.” We were going through the drive thru and the man in the window said, "there's a song by Stevie Nicks I wonder what Greta would say" when he heard my name. He sang, “She wants to live by the ocean.” I didn't know the song.

One day we had gone to Butman Fish Library and Andy had offered to let me take the driver's seat. There we were on the side street, I at the wheel so Andy could read the latest biography of Diana Ross. We didn’t see his mother driving the navy Caprice behind us. Had we, we would have ducked or driven away, or done something…but as it was we were oblivious until she pulled us over.

It’s better to be pulled over by a cop than your best friend’s mother when you are breaking the law…or is it? I don’t think I had really thought through the repercussions of this rush of adrenaline, this sheer joy of being behind the wheel. Sex you can get pregnant, disease, they had classes to teach you about that, but driving seemed like such a harmless sin. Back in Jesus’ day, they didn’t even have driving licenses. I had to get behind the wheel because Jesus never did! But Andy’s mother wasn’t seeing it that way. She talked about me hitting a child crossing the street, the insurance company coming after me…things I had never even thought of with my thirteen-year-old vision.

We begged her not to tell my parents. Andy told her my strict parents would surely take me out of theatre, or never let me see him again, should they be told. I don’t know if it was because his mother loved me, or because she had been through breast cancer, but somehow she decided that taking away Andy’s Diana Ross concert was enough. It was tragic, but together, we could dramatically sing:
“There was so much you gave me
To my heart
To my soul
There was so much of your dreams
That were never told
You had so much hope
For a brighter day
Why were you my flower
Plucked away”

I was driving the other day in my usual mundane way, wondering why I have to live day after day trying to find a parking space. Realizing that I do live by the ocean just like Stevie Nicks prophesized, and for that, who can complain, even when searching for a parking space. I thought about how thrilling those first driving days with Andy were. “Sometimes I want to give up, I want to give in, I want to quit the fight.” Andy has passed on. But when I hear our music, I see him smile. “And then I see you baby, and everything’s alright.”

Where I'm From

modeled after George Ella Lyon

I am from Boy George and Culture Club
Quiet Riot and “Cum on feel the Noise
Girls rock your boys
We’ll get Wild Wild Wild”
I am from Day to Night Barbie
She can be anything
I am told I can be too.

I am from Macaroni and Cheese
Raman Noodles
McDonald’s and Search for Tomorrow
Never in the present,
But living in a soap opera
Even in 2nd grade
No reruns and lots of drama
Lunchtime with Mom who works nights at the hospital
I am from being overwhelmed by other kids energies in the cafeteria
But feeling safe at home.

I am from hunting with Alivia
That didn’t mean killing animals
Rather exploring neighbors
Backyards in the heart of Michigan
Winters our footprints tracks
Of guilt in the snow.

I am from my blanket
With a corner for each family

I am from a gunite pool
Underground in ground
Popular girl in town
Mom floating on her raft
Doesn’t go underwater
Because of her face

I am from “Hista Napa Buska Nama!”
Smell your belly button xxxxface
From my only words of Finnish
To the pasties made of meat and potatoes

I am from the Midwest
Middle of Nowhere
“Somewhere, there’s a place for us”
I am from Barbra Streisand dreams
Sewing some Jewish seams
Finding humor in tragedy
Laughing through my sister’s death
Dark comedy in NYC
Transforming strife to find new life.

I am from Seaweeds
To comfort me
Mermaid dolls floating
On sponges
I wanted to be the Little mermaid who floated away
Transformed from sea
Foam into a daughter of the air
Here is my unrequited love
I am ready!!

I am from rebelling against
My father’s teaching
Being an artist instead of a scientist
Believing in God, going against his grain
I am from scattered fantasies
Told to me in childhood
Still holding onto hope
Like Pandora
Watching the bird take
Flight among the evil
Unleashed through myth.